PM to pop the question?

Mohali:

After successfully asking Pakistan's PM for a date, India's Prime Minister Manmohan Singh is pulling all possible strings to impress his significant other,

After playing hard to get Yousuf Gilani, Pakistan's PM, has finally accepted the invitation to a dinner and match date with our Prime minister.

Sources close to Singh told us

"The PM is ecstatic that Gilani finaly picked up his call and said yes to meeting him for the India Pakistan match, What a brilliant Chance pe Dance this has been for our PM "

 he added ,

"Singh , Manmohan Singh "

" They had met earlier at a Mutual friends' place (UN) , but did not have enough time to socialise so they exchanged phone numbers and moved on "

 " Manmohanji has been busy with these scams, so calling Gilani over would seem a little awkward, now that the PM has the nations backing again he could finally make a move to call him over for dinner and a nice match"

But other sources say that the PM may have done this since Pak president Asif ali Zardari has distanced himself from Manmohan

" Oh Hey Hiiiiii ! "

Zardari's close aide was heard saying,

" Zardari and Singh used to be on better terms, but seems the Singh has moved on"

" This mastermove by PM singh has really irritated Zardari, as he was hoping to be called for a patch up, and Zardari sir was very close to Gilani sir, now things may never be the same "

"Coffee?"

Meanwhile Gilani's close aides have confirmed that he is very nervous about meeting our PM, he said,

" Gilani sir has already had a haircut and ordered new suits , he even called Manish malhotra for Fashion advice, needless to say he's stoked to meet Singhji "

" OMG im so confused, What shall i wear? the blue tie is better but wont it clash with his turban? "

The PM seems to be a real Ranbir Kapoor of the Political world, when Arun jaitley asked the PM to clarify his fondness of Pakistanis, the PM said, " we are just Prime ministers "

as Ranbir kapoor puts it, " upar se lane ka niche dabane ka, piche uthane ka, aaahhhhh ! "

Flogger asked Singh on who he thought would win the Match, Singh replied

" Haha, nice question,  Winner? hmm, I think i have already won (winks) "

Chennai :

With the Tamil Nadu polls coming up in a few days time, the DMK led by M.Karunanidhi has devised a new poll strategy to make sure that Jayalalitha does not come into power.

After the A.Raja 2G episode, the DMK has been looking like the weaker party that might have to taste defeat, with so many dependents in his family he needs to support, M. Karunanidhi has vowed not to let Amma's Anna-DMK to come to power

It was revealed during the election nomination that a DMK MLA (E Velu) managed to multiply his wealth 780 times within 5 years of his term, and he credits it to 'Market Dynamics', heres the      Link.

So now M.Karunanidhi has promised to make this man  'E Velu', the next CM of Tamil Nadu, if the DMK comes to power once again.

he stated   " if our economy was to be multiplied by 780 times, it would be 67 trillion dollars, and the worlds largest Economy is the US at $ 14 trillion. Tamil Nadu will be the biggest superpower ever! So we have a financial wizard in the form of Chalu, i mean E Velu. "

he added, " have u noticed he is called E Velu and not jus Velu, which means he is Economically, Ecologically, Electronically capable Velu "

Jayalalitha (aka Amma)  responded to this tactic by saying  " Tamil Nadu can have gaadi, bangla , bank balance, biggest economy, Ashwin, Leander etc, but it doesn't have one thing..........Amma! "

pictured : Current Tamil Nadu and soon to be Tamil Nadu.

Air-plain Pilots

Mumbai:

A series of scams in the country has been followed up by a sequel , no not 3G License scam, but Airline pilot License Scam.

 It has been reported in the news media i.e TOI that a significant amount of Airline pilots are flying airplanes without valid licenses.

The hints were getting more and more obvious

Flogger does not believe its arch-rival Times of India, so we have decided to follow up on this story just like, Navjot Singh Siddhu follows up on an excellent observation by Tony Greig.

"My friend when the dogs are meowing and the crows are quacking the devil can only be scandalized with a deep penance of a chocolate fairy that... oh fuck it, i once killed a guy! "

Indian following rules in Dubai

The question raised is that how can a real life Catch me if u can scenario unfold in our country where obtaining a license to do anything has such strict and vigorous procedure. If Indians are known for anything its for their belief in following rules.

Indian cop following LATHI MARO protocol

This next question raised is how did these pilots fool airport security with invalid fake licenses?, An airport official gave a statement that "over crowding at airports can be tough on us too, catching terrorist and taking in tourist smell and then paying airport food prices are horrible enough, now we must check pilot authenticity?"

Indian airports at their  least crowded level.

Airport security will now include AirTrafficCops to monitor possible license offenders, but this system has not shown its full potential, and all the officials don't know why,

Kharcha Pani Exchange

One group of people who are least concerned about all of this are the Travelers.
most Air travellers we questioned had this to say 
" Oh no, fake pilots are not our biggest concern, the chances of them killing us is far lesser than the food that Air India gives. "

yummy

Tom & SC

Delhi :

Fans Fan of Flogger must know that the position of the Central Vigilance Committee (CVC) has been misused by the Government of India. The Prime Minister has already taken responsibility for the fiasco, but a recent survey of the Indian population ... my friends has shown that people do not know enough about the Controversy.

This is a Recap told without any research nor after reading the Supreme Courts Judgment,  because at Flogger we use the Aushotosh Gowariker school of research

Yes because Akbar obviously had six pack abs and wrestled elephants to pass his time.

Anyyyywaaayyyyy, here's how the CVC fiasco happened

There was a bureaucrat named Thomas

 

Pictured : Thomas

The Govt knew Thomas had a case pending against him for possibly being corrupt

How corrupt people organize their money

Yet the Government decided to place Thomas as the head of the CVC, the body that is supposed to monitor corruption related activities in India. Yes we at Flogger had the same thought, its like letting a cheating student supervise his own exam, or letting Uday Chopra decide who to cast in Yash Chopra's next movie

Honestly, what the F*** were they thinking

The opposition decided to protest Thomas' appointment to the CVC, but the Government wouldn't budge

Pictured : Opposition

The Opposition took the matter to the Supreme Court, who told the Govt that appointing Thomas is a Stupid Dumb Idiotic Mind-boggling , Selfish and Mean, just very Mean and Dirty act (we remind our readers that we are para phrasing, we have not read the judgment)

Pictured : Thomas and Supreme Court

This did not go down well with the Congress party, and the high command has decided to replace Thomas with a more efficient, hard working and trust-able man.

THOMAASSSSSSS !

Man moh one !

New Delhi: 

The Congress party has been in a quandary after the DMK has threatened to pull out of the Government. The Congress working committee met yesterday to fill this void in Government, with Spin doctors such as Arjun Singh no more, and crunch bowlers such as Amar Singh forced retired, the Government seems to mirror the Indian Cricket Teams dependability right now,
But for India there is a Sachin, and for Indias Government there is .. well no one.
But for India there is also Shahrukh who has as many allies with him as the UPA,

similarly for the Government there is One, the Man.Moh.One

"i want to go on Kappi with Karunanidhi"

Just like Sharukhs stellar performances in movies... in front of the media, Manmohone is known for giving inspiring speeches

Dr.Singh is very angry with the DMK, and sources tell flogger that the Kalaignar and his Brady bunch are worried by the PM's new position, one that everyone dreads, "the hand fold"

hmmmph, jao Katti!

Filmfarce

Mumbai :

Amitabh Bachchans several Filmfare Lifetime awards and the latest one at the Filmfare awards have raised many an eyebrow in the non film fraternity, and the Veteran actor has contacted Flogger for a clarification. This is a transcript of the conversation obtained by wikileaks and then uploaded on piratebay and then we downloaded it from a hacked email that had a proxy Wi-fi account, its a Mumbai thing, u wouldn't understand.

Back to the conversation with Flogger and The Big B

Number kya hain HAEEENNNN?

Bachchan :  Aadab, pranam, sasriyakaal , Main  Bacchan sahab bol raha hoon, is this Flogger India?
Flogger:  Oh god, my god, oh shit, its him, its him, its Abhishek Bachchan !!!!!!
Bachchan:  Nahi Nahi, i am The Amitabh ! (lightning thunder)
Flogger:  oh its you, yea tell me
Bachchan:  are you doubting my Filmfare Lifetime Awards credibility?
Flogger:  not exactly, but you do seem to have quite a Few
Bachchan:  my dear boy,
Flogger:  im not your BOY!, i wish i was, hes chooo cute ! you have NO iDeA !!!! (wink wink)
Bachchan:  My dear non boy, i have died in Deewar, Sholay, Agneepath, Pa, i nearly died in Sarkar, and people thought i was dead after that accident few years back, they thought my career was dead before i did KBC, so you see non boy, I am Indestructible, and hence no amount of Lifetime Awards is good enough for me.


Flogger:  Woah, i pray to thee my lord.
Bachchan:  Afsoooossss, samay samapti ki Ghoshna, Sexy sam out, F*** You biatch!








Flogger issues this apology to Filmfare and requests it to name the Best Actor Award as The Sharukh Khan Award for Ak.k.k.k.k.k.ting  Excellence

Reservation Jail

Delhi :

 This week, Columnist Anish Trivedi was given a Jail sentence for 6 years for making Casteist comments for writing against reservation. Flogger met the Home Minister P.Chidambaram for a clarification of the States' stand.

Yo wazzaap, im Homie P

Homie P as he likes to be called, said that " Do not worry, Mr Anish Trivedi wont be sent to jail, we have started a Jail Cell reservation system, and no matter if any ones in that cell or not, no one else can occupy it. The open category Cells are all filled up, so there is no space for Mr Trivedi. "
















This Ironic turn of events has shown Mr Trivedi the benefits of reservation and he adds , " I wont ever drink before writing anything ever again "

Tees Crore Maaf

Mumbai:

After the Income Tax department (IT) raided Priyanka Chopra's and Katrina Kaif's residences, new details have emerged exclusively to Flogger.

After Seizing several Crores from both  Models  Actresses, both Hotties Women have given a Unique reason for the unaccounted Cash.

Both claim that the cash was not a blatant tax evasion of money that rightfully belongs to the common man, but in fact it was money they used to prepare for their respective upcoming films, it seems that coincidently both women are playing tax evaders in their next film.

Kash-sleep

Srinagar:

The Chief Minister of J&K Omar Abdullah in a candid interview with Flogger admitted that the real reason behind the State protesting the Flag hoisting of the BJP is that no one in the state is keen on waking up at 6 am.

Soooo Sleeepyyyyyy !

Abdullah added   " Sure I am Indian, and its in our Indian-ness that we are too lazy to get up early, why cant the BJP understand that when i meant that there would be unrest in Kashmir, i meant our rest is disturbed."

" I love  y-    , i mean i love sleep "

"The people of the state are sleepy just like me, and they stand by me, rather sleep by me."

Farooq Abdullah interrupted this interview and added " Nehru said on 15th Aug 1947 that India will wake up as a nation , and i say that we shall sleep as a nation on 26th Jan. "



The Seperatists like Umar Farooq, who were incidently playing cricket at Abdullah's residence added " we have always believed in separatism , after all we separate our sleep from work, we want Azadi from Work. "

"Why wont u  seperate me from Srikanth, i am Unique "

Gandhi setu

Kanyakumari :

The Ram Setu Controversy, as to whether there exists a bridge between Lanka and India,built by Lord Ram  is finally about to be put to rest.

The Congress party that initially did not accept the existence of such a bridge, is now willing to accept its existence under one condition.
The bridge must be named as Indira Gandhi Setu.

Surprisingly, the Bridge is still Incomplete, and the initial budget has been doubled by Setu committee chief Suresh Kalmadi.

Cabinet Boss

Mumbai :

With the Media dismissing the recent Cabinet Reshuffle as a diversionary tactic, the Prime Minister has come up with a new strategy to keep the mass public happy with the next reshuffle.

The reshuffle will now be telecast on the T.V channel Colours. It will be a one hour special known as, Cabinet Boss.



Salman Khan has agreed to to host the show, and the names of the ministers who will be part of the show are creating a buzz in the rumour mills.

Opposition member Murli Manohar Joshi, or MMJ has branded this Reshuffle as ''Scripted'',
he added " The BJP , if it came to power would deliver a more realistic show called Kaun Banega Cabinet Mantri."

Lame Conversation

What must i do for my Films to be a Hit ????

Get Idea

One Day Reshuffle

Chennai, TN :
Following the Cabinet Reshuffle, the BCCI selectors committee Chairman, Kris Shrikant has held a press conference to unveil a Cricket reshuffle, here are the new positions.


 M.S.Dhoni : Mahi will now be allocated to the overhyped player job, he is dethroned as captain, he is given the position of the Indian teams hair stlylist and is happy about it

 

 

Parthiv Patel : Parthiv, or Nano chokro, will be the new captain of India

'' Captain su che? ''

'' Aila bowling? ''

Sachin Tendulkar : Sachin is now the leading pacebowler for india

'' Coach coach hota hai? ''

Yuvraj Singh : is now the coach of the Indian Cricket team, and also their masseuse

Neem ka patta kadva hai, Shahid Afridi B****A hai!

Sourav Ganguly : After some hard lobbying with Nirra Radia's help, Dada is now the
designated 'crazy man in the stands'  for India