19 January 2011

Lame Conversation

What must i do for my Films to be a Hit ????



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One Day Reshuffle




Chennai, TN :
Following the Cabinet Reshuffle, the BCCI selectors committee Chairman, Kris Shrikant has held a press conference to unveil a Cricket reshuffle, here are the new positions.


 M.S.Dhoni : Mahi will now be allocated to the overhyped player job, he is dethroned as captain, he is given the position of the Indian teams hair stlylist and is happy about it


 


Parthiv Patel : Parthiv, or Nano chokro, will be the new captain of India
'' Captain su che? ''

'' Aila bowling? ''

Sachin Tendulkar : Sachin is now the leading pacebowler for india



'' Coach coach hota hai? ''
Yuvraj Singh : is now the coach of the Indian Cricket team, and also their masseuse










Neem ka patta kadva hai, Shahid Afridi B****A hai!
Sourav Ganguly : After some hard lobbying with Nirra Radia's help, Dada is now the
designated 'crazy man in the stands'  for India

14 January 2011

Bengal ka Insaaf





Kolkata :
With constant voilent clashes between Mamata Banerjee's TMC and Buddhadeb Bhattacharya's CPI(M), both Mamata and Buddha have approached Rakhi Sawant to solve their dispute.



 Both Mamata and Buddhadeb or fondly referred to as  ' Mamatadeb '  by the Media on the lines of Brangelina, came on Rakhi's show Rakhi ka Insaaf.
This is a sample of what happened on the show.





You dont care for me any more, you hurt my workers, i hate you!


Shut up woman.








No you shut up bitch !





Jao Katiiiiiii













Both of you should kiss and make up.



I will never make up with you, i shall take Bengal away from you, it is ours not urz!
Dont do this , you are like this all because of that Pranab
 He's all depressed, time to get the State back



You did this to me, all your fault, Jao katti!

Wow, The stuff i have to do for my party !

12 January 2011

Goal Gol Anda gol



London :


Since Venky's Chicken Poultry has bought Football Club Blackburn Rovers, sweeping changes have been the Norm.









Firstly the Manager of the Club had been sacked, Expensive Players such as Ronaldinho and Beckham were attempted to be transferred in, and now the most significant change has been seen.









The Club Management has altered all Contracts of Players to make them Celebrate Like Chickens after scoring each goal.







The Management has also decided to buy players with the Word 'Hen' in it , example , Henry, Henderson, Henrik Larsson etc.

10 January 2011

 Lahore, Pakistan :


With the Constant price-rise of Indian Cricket players, The Government of India has decided that it would import Pakistani players to ease prices of Onion Cricket Players.

Sharad Pawar , India's Agriculture Cricket Minister has promised that the Import of these players would surely reduce the constant inflation of Player prices.

" I solemly swear to be India's Cricket minister "

The BJP kick started its nation wide Anti-Price rise rally in reference to the huge sum Franchisees had to pay for bare minimums such as players.

Arun Jaitley said  " The Govt. has failed, the PM must answer why Irfan Pathan Costs 9 Crores, this is not done."
 

The import of Pakistani players brings with them many new worries, such as costant eye watering due to loosening of the outer layer.





Captain Jairam

Lavasa, Pune :

The sudden improvement in India's Environment was a puzzle for most but Flogger India has uncovered the secret behind the ever improving Climate. It was a revelation to most when a Super Hero was sighted to have cleaned up the mess that is our Country's Environment.

This is a picture of Lavasa's transformation after the interference of the mysterious Super Hero.




Before
After




The secret is that Five Bureaucrats come together to summon this mysterious Super Hero.






The Name of this Super Hero is  CAPTAIN JAIRAM.








This reporter was told that the Captain's source of energy is solely his ambition to be in a better Cabinet position.

Poll of the weak !

People were asked if Gujjars should get quota protection ?

46 %  said no

17 %  said yes

15 %  said not sure

12 %  said that they hate gujaratis

9  %  said all males should have protection with them

1 %  said Jairam Ramesh